online shopping
One thing led to another and I ended up browsing through the EXPRESS online store.
Suddenly horrible memories of the two worst weeks of my life (Exaggeration at its best but I tend to be dramatic) came back flooding my mind
First of all. working in retail tends to suck everywhere. There are always rude customers, the pay is horrible, the expectations are usually too high for what you get and the hours you get tend to suck at best. All in all, not the best field to work at.
But Express takes the cake in my book.
I worked at Express for less than three weeks but I still remember a lot of things that made me
want to run out of that place after one hour of work.
Everything began with me being broke. And as you know broke college students do not look pretty. I had been working at a shoe store until recently but it freaking closed down with the owner telling us about this one week before it actually happened
So there I was broke, sad and hungry. I of course began to apply everywhere and as things turned out I got one of my first calls from Express.
I went to my first interview. The person interviewing us was actually the assistant manager and not the manager herself.
One word to describe her would be: Bitch
I seriously could smell the bitchiness emerging from her pores as she made her way to us from the backroom.
During the entire interview she kept reminding us how she was soooo harsh when it came to hiring new people and how she never kept people who wouldn't immediately giver results and how we needed to be available every single day that we were putting down on our applications (Even though she wouldn't give people more than 8 hours per week HA)
I of course kissed her ass and tried to be as outgoing as possible to get the job. Let's just say I was desperate at the time.
Me and one other guy from that group interview ended up getting hired.
So, there I was on my first day of work. Besides the usual nervousness I was feeling okay about the whole thing. I finally met the manager who turned out to be a total sweetheart.
But of course since I'm sooo lucky it turns out the manager wasn't fat as I had thought but 81/2 months pregnant. So she was taking her maternity leave for two months. And yup. The bitch was going to be in charge from then on.
Let's pretend the assistant manager (The b...) was named 'Rosy'.
Well Rosy acted like a totally neurotic, too-good-for-everyone over-confident beyotch the entire time she trained me.
She gave me tips on:
-How to push merchandize to customers until they wouldn't be able to say no.
-How to get customers to get credit cards they didn't actually need.
-How to kiss more ass.
-And on how to act like stalker and follow customers around the store asking them their names.
Yup. Overall the place was shit.
I suddenly remembered why I had never like shopping at Express.
One reason was because of the clothing. It's so dull. It's mostly for women over 35 who want to pretend they still got it. And the prices are just stupid for such mediocre clothing
Another reason was because of the workers (stalkers) working there.
Back then, I used to blame them and curse quietly at them because they just wouldn't let me breathe.
Sometimes one just wants to browse around. Look at prices. Walk around the store and just enjoy our time there.
But at Express, you can not do that!
You just can't.
If you work there you get am earpiece with a small microphone attached to it. Every worker around the gates Has To run to a customer and ask them for their name (WTH!), tell them we have oh so many good looking things in the store (LIE) and demand an answer as to where the fuck they are going so we can get them to spend some fucking dough in our establishment.
'Hi what's your name?' I had to ask this more than 100 times in less than 3 hours working there on my first day.
People gave me the stink eye (I probably would have done that to myself too) and walked away although some good Samaritans did stop to tell me their names (There's still nice people our there **tear)
After asking all these very important questions I would have to tell every other worker all the information I had gathered from our new victim. It went something like this
'This is _______. A lady named Cynthia just walked into our store. She says she is looking for a pair of pants to go have a hot date with a married man'
Yup
Ok. I never had someone tell me that many details but you get what I'm saying.
Imagine having to have to grab my little microphone and having to tell all the other workers what some innocent stranger wanted, who they were, what they were doing, etc. I felt like a pervert. Stalking my prey as soon as I saw them
And I had to hear these type of conversations about 5000 times from all the other workers as well. Because of course we all had to stalk people.
And so Rosy (remember the witch?) would always come to me and say things like:
Her: "You're okay so far but I just wish I could inject you with Red Bull to make you more hyper"
Me: Smile/nod ---- Actual thoughts: Okay psycho
Or another one of my favorites
Her: "You can't let anyone get away. You must make the sale. That is the one priority you must have"
Me: Sure, I'll try harder ---- Actual thoughts: ***Sigh / I really want to hit your face right now
So I had to work like that for two miserable weeks. Everytime I walked back to my car after work I would think to myself. What the hell is wrong with that place?
Seriously though, who made that kind of selling strategy?
From what I've gathered online and from my own experiences at other Express stores they are all on stalking-mode.
A lot of people (potential buyers) would just walk out of the store as fast as their feet could take them after being approached by three different workers wanting to know their name.
Poor them. Customers just wanted to have a nice day shopping around without being bugged but
No no no. We can't let any enjoyment happen there.
Just when I was going to pass out from rolling my eyes so much at all the other dummies working at that place some kind of powerful being took pity on me and helped me find another job less than a week later.
And so I got out of the damned place never to look back at it again.
To date I have worked in fours retail stores, a bookstore, as a babysitter, waitress but Express has given me the biggest heartache and headache in my entire working life (So far)
I hope the bitch Rosy gets the stick up her ass out so she can actually see what customers want and how to approach them in a less pushy way.
Nah. I just hope she fell on her butt at least once.
Bye Express. See you never
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